We the People of Johnson Co MO, Monday, September 26, 2022 😲😖 People are Voluntarily Getting Micro-Chipped.

Have you heard of “chip parties”? Well, now you have. Yep, people are having parties to get a microchip, the size of a piece of rice under their skin. Sweden is absolutely wacked out about this! They consider themselves “early adapters”, as thousands of people have been chipped.

Are they worried about someone stealing their identity? Apparently not, because someone would have to get really close to actually do that. Okay, then. Like as close as in the grocery line? Like as close as at a concert? A business meeting? On a bus?

After all, it’s the coolest thing ever! You can wave your hand and open a door! Wave your hand and buy something totally cashless! Money is SO dirty, you know…germs, germs, germs. You don’t have to wear an ugly ID card on a cumbersome lanyard anymore; just wave your hand and poof! You’re in! You can wave our hand to turn on your computer, phone, tablet! It’s so amazing!!! You never have to look for your keys again! What could possibly go wrong?

For some reason no one brought up the concern about being tracked by this tiny rice-sized miracle of convenience. Huh. Anyway, Sweden is totally ga-ga about it, and a company in Wisconsin is following suit. Half the employees rushed to sign up for getting a chip implanted under the skin between their thumb and forefinger using a huge needle. How nifty! The other half were reticent. For some reason. But, ultimately the employer talked them into it, so now EVERYBODY is using this hugely convenient device? And all their purchases, door openings, computer/phone/tablet turn-ons, comings and goings from the company are…well, part of the employee database. What about health info? Well, the technology isn’t quite that sophisticated yet. You’ll have to wait for the next crop of rice-sized miracles of convenience.

How long before the Rapture…?

But, wait! Wait!! There’s MORE!!! What about chips in human brains?

Neuralink is Elon Musk’s Brain Child, so to speak. Apparently, Neuralink makes chips that can be implanted in the brain…somewhere up there…gray matter, white matter, it’s all brain, you know. And anyway, the chips will make you learn faster. Except that it’s proven humans have mirror neurons that do the same thing. Oh well. This is SO MUCH COOLER!!!! You become Cyber, man! Or Cyberman. But anyway, it’s so amazingly, awesomely COOL to have a chip put in your BRAIN!!! Infection…? Oh, probably not. Besides, what’s a little teeny, tiny infection in your brain gonna hurt? Really! For real, what could POSSIBLY go wrong with this? A computer chip running your brain!!!! It just doesn’t get cooler!

I’m thinking it has a cool serial number, too, like 666. Just sayin’. I’ll take a BIG pass on these amazing miracles of convenience.

Warn your friends and neighbors, because this will be coming to a “party” near you soon, I fear.